Our parents had much to offer us. They both loved us very, very much and wanted to do what was best for my brother and me. The God-given talents of our parents were balanced; what mommy was good at, daddy was not so good and what daddy was good at, mommy was not so good, thereby offerring them the possibility of drawing from each other's strengths---just the way God had intended. Mom and dad were compatible, they enjoyed the same type of leisure activities and social tolerances for the most part, although daddy was a tad-bit more of an extrovert than mommy. There is absolutely no reason why our family could not have thrived except for the sad fact that too many people looked away and chose not to get involved when our family was failing... go figure.
To those that have been given much, much is expected. Mommy and daddy were blessed, more committment and dedication to our family should have been expected from them than what was accepted by the adults that loved us. Adults will behave irresponsibly, they have in the past, are doing so in the present, and will continue to do so in the the future. The destruction to the fabric of the family is not attributed to the behavior alone; the tragedy comes when this sort of behavior is rewarded, ignored, and not admonished. When a 60 year old mother and/or father (grandparents to my brother and me) cannot look their only son in the eyes, a nearly 40 year old man and tell him that his behavior is irresponsible, immature, and inconsistent with the values and beliefs we hold dear. These elders should be able to tell this young man that his children are watching and will some day pattern his behavior. Our society should not be tolerant of such irresponsible behaviors from mature, educated persons in leadership roles. Individuals that are to stand as pillars in our community. Individuals that should exemplify family responsibility, commitment, honor, respect, tolerance, forgiveness and the like...go figure
Society
OUR PATERNAL GRANDMOTHER
OUR MOM
When our stable home began to crumble daddy seemed to have it "all together." He appeared to be the epitome of logic and sound judgment. Mommy appeared unstable and without direction. The abuse in our family was not physical, it was psychological and emotional. No one could see the scars so my mother's pleas for help fell on deaf ears. Because daddy was a devout Christian all that was said from our church leaders (when mommy went to them for help) was to let the Holy spirit guide his actions. She was told that it is not the place for the "brothers" at church to admonish daddy's posture and attitudes related to the condition of his family... go figure.
Has mental illnesses that has been infectious to our family unit
Denied our daddy his manhood
Our paternal grandmother has gone to court and taken me and my brother permanently and legally away from our mother. She accused our mother of being mentally unstable amongst other things. If one were to look into her mental history without too much investigation they would be able to find evidence of her imperfect existence.... this grandmother raised two children (my dad and my paternal aunt), both of those individuals grew up calling their father by his first name (David).... there's something dysfunctional and wrong with that, The courts have given her custody of me and my brother although she refused to help my family as a unit and supported the break-up of our home. She is the one person on this Planet that could have helped our family, yet she chose to be a part of the problem instead of the solution and our courts have entrusted our lives and futures to her....go figure
When mommy asked our paternal grandmother if we (my brother, she, and me) could come and stay with her whille daddy "sow his wild oats".... "find himself"... or just "get serious about his family", our paternal grandmother said "no". She said that what was going on in our family was not her business. Mommy explained that by not taking a separate home for my brother, she and me it would allow our dad to realize his family is still there for him and we are not going anywhere. We will be available to him when he decide to come home to us. He would see that we are not going on to begin a "new life" without him. He would know that we trust and expect that he would realize the value of his family and "do right by us" . Our paternal grandmother told mommy to "count her loses and go on with her life---those were her word of wisdom.....go figure
Our mommy and daddy are not proud of the condition of their family---the family they created as adults but none-the-less, it is mommy and daddy whom will have to go before Our Lord Jesus Christ and give account for the condition of our family. They will have to explain to God why my brother and me did not have a family that was exempliary of God's relationship to His children and His relationship with the church. And by the same token our paternal grandmother will have to do the same for the family God had given her ...my dad was her son, when he married my mom and spawned children our paternal grandmother will have to give account before Christ as to why she came between that union as opposed to supporting the union. Her responsibilities to her own son when he needed her were derelect. yet the courts have given her responsibility for the upbringing of my brother and me...go figure
My baby-boys because of these events in their lives and without the support of the people in their community they have been predisposed to possible future mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, pychosis, low self esteem, negative self image, identity confusion and many more pychosocial defects... now they are babies, soon they will be preteens, teens, then young adults. The events in their lives are consistent with the type of horrific events that tatters the lives of many young people that fill our juvenile and adult prison systems... I send out a plea as the mother of these precious littlemen, I plea to anyone that can help our family to be united to help me to bring my babies home. Let them come home to a mother who loves them . Do not let our sons (mine and Reggie's) slip through the cracks and remain victims of the system. Victims of a paternal family that "looked the other way"... if my family was not their business when I was married to their father, my family is surely not their business now. Without Reggie our family may be "minus one", but we are still a family.
It is a mistake to think that divorce and the decaying morals of our society only effect the families of those involved....our Nation as a whole is infected by the popularity of the "no-fault-divorce." So many families and individual family members will never realize the full potential of what they as a unit or as individual citizens could have contributed to their community and the Nation if their family would have survived the negative influences of a fallen World where Satan is alive seeking and finding all those whom he can devour.
God had great plans for our family... our family did not follow God's plan and we are in turmoil... but we are no less a family.
Living in a home in the suburbs and feeling the comfort, security, and assurances that go along with being tucked into bed at night by our parents and knowing that we are loved and our family is rock solid is a plan both of our parents wished they had held onto for me an my brother, but they let it slip away... this is tragic, yet it does not have to be an ongoing tragedy for our family.
This situation could make us stronger and more resilient or it can break us down and make us victims for the rest of lives. I know and research would prove that we have a better chance of surviving this with our mental health intact if we are allowed to keep our family united.
God has great plans for my brother and me and I know that our chances for growing up mentally healthy with a healthy self image, a sound foundation and a positive outlook for what Christ can do in our lives is most likely to be realized if we are allowed to go home and be with our mother. Home is where the heart is, it does not have to be a home in the suburbs. Living in a Palace with our family as tattered and torn as it is would not give us the peace of mind and completeness of being at home and loved that we would have if we shared a life with our mother.
We ask that everyone whom believe that God ordains the family and that He is bigger than this situation, we ask that if you believe God uses His children to do His will and have His name glorified even in the midst of great tragic events like the misfortune that has taken place in our family and disrupted our home... we ask that you help us. Help our family to be reunited... to stay reunited. Use whatever blessings or talents that God has given you to help us to be raised by our mommy. Allow the Holy Spirit to minister to your hearts and examine how satan has been at work in our family.... do not let satan have the victory over our family. We are decendant of Reggie and Deidre and God blessed and ordained our family unit. We were gifts from God to our parents, our parents Christianed us and gave our lives back to God with a promise to present themselves and raise us according to Gods ways. These were all promises to God by our parents... our paternal grandmother witnessed these vows as they were given before the Lord by our parents, for her to have turned her face away from our family when daddy needed her to give him prudent Christ-centered guidance is an abomination of all that our family represents and we should not allow the courts to banish us from our home and our lives with our mommy.
We are living in the times prophesied... homes divided against themselves. God said for us to not be surprised when these things happen.... He said that in the end-times family members will be against one another; but He also said for those who know Him to stand firm and keep His laws. Please help our family to Be. Lack of support from paternal relatives has brought undue hardship on our once prominent family unit.
Our court system have a less than impressive history of being family or child friendly. They do not always do what is best for families. They have a history of disrupting families, taking children away from all that we know and love, taking us away from everything familiar; after losing our daddy they took us away from our mommy as if we were puppies that had been weaned and are now ready to distribute for profit. Years later when we and others like us become cases in the juvenile and criminal justice system with tendencies towards violence and other crimes, it will be assessed and stated by the evaluating psychiatrists that we are incapable of love for others, that we can't show compassion, and we have no remorse for our crimes..... all those involved in punishing us would have long forgotten the pleas of our mother. They would have forgotten and will certainly not care about the history that has gotten us to the point of sociopathic activities, juvenile delinquency, and the self preserving mechanism of learning not to love, trust, or find comfort in others fearing that all those we love will be taken away.
No one will remember or care that we were once the "apple" of our parent's eyes... that both our mommy and daddy thought the World of us and would both lie down their lives to do what is best for us. No one will remember or care how much we loved and the potential for sucess that was well in our grasp. We can hope that through our struggles we will remember the foundation and upbringing we had that taught us about Jesus Christ and that somewhere along the way if we get lost that we will find our way back to Christ so that we can have our Salvation... in all that we have lost here on Earth, we can pray (and our parents pray) that we are Saved in the end.
Shared days in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit with our second born son
Times shared on our honeymoon
Our first business venture "S-Cube"
Our shared hopes, dreams, fears, and plans for our family and our children
memories of our "firsts" with one another.... our "firsts" with our sons
...And much, much more
Memories that will never be:
Participation in the milestones of our sons' lives (graduations, engagements, weddings, births of children, etc)
Shared memories with grandchildren
Advice from father to sons regarding life's challenges such as (sports, bullies, first dates, intimacy, love, marriage, family, career, etc
...And much, much more
It Was Scandalous:
Child protective services showed little interest in finding out about my childrens' lives and what was in their best interest... they worked too closely with the prosecution and adult "victim" (Reggie's mother) to be objective.
The lawyers appointed to protect my childrens' interest were not interested in fact finding---they too were involved in sensationalism and making the theories of the prosecution fit their intent and their intent was to satisfy the grief stricken tax payer (Reggie's mother), they were not interested in justice for my children.
The most wicked villian of all (Reggie's mother) in this tragic tale that is my childrens' lives has tilted the scales of "blind lady justice" and with the help of child protective services there is Liberty and Justice for no one, especially not for our baby boys... mine and Reggie's... this is scandalous!
